Mego monkey magic

The perky, sparkly-eyed Kim Hunter enjoyed a distinguished film career over several decades, though it's perhaps a role in which she's almost unrecognisable for which she's best remembered.  While I don't know who performs the domestic duties in a chimpanzee household, I do know who wears the pants, and that's Zira, the veterinarian of the Planet of the Apes saga, principal protagonist along with her somewhat hen-pecked husband Cornelius, trying in vain to convince the Orangatang intelligentsia that humans are worth preserving.

Mego fashioned their 8" line based largely on the TV series which followed the movie quintet in 1974.  The principal characters were recreated and Zira made an auspicious debut complete in olive green and brown tunic, with that distinctive Kim Hunter charisma beaming from beneath John Chambers' award-winning make-up.  Mego did an outstanding job on this likeness (and indeed all their other ape incarnations), the subtleties and nuances of Hunter's facial expressions captured effortlessly in these super-articulated large-scale figures.

The type 1 variant pictured (metal rivets as opposed to plastic binders) at left suffers the typical Mego-fate as waists deteriorate over time, though it's not uncommon now to re-string these figures to preserve their mobility and give them a second shelf life.  The authentic garb is difficult to keep clean unless well protected, and the studs and velcro can loosen over time, fortunately if you're not too elitist in your collecting standards, you can pick up Mego POTA replacement garments at very affordable prices.  Of course, if only mint original will meet your discerning standard, then you pay accordingly.

I picked up Zira for little more than $25 on the secondary market, and she's in remarkably good condition for that price, though I personally wouldn't have paid more than $30-$35 based on the inflation rate I've witnessed over a number of years collecting these figures.  Essentially, she's not that scarce, though it is becoming more difficult to find a nice specimen with original accessories that haven't been torn, frayed or discoloured.  These figures akin to their WGSH contemporaries aren't really kid's toys, they're delicate and better suited just to display; in point of fact, very few of mine survived the 70's and if they did, they no longer have their original wardrobe (there's something a little swinging about having a toy box that includes a nude Anson Williams doll casually intertwined with a partially clothed Batman and boots-only clad Dr. Zaius, some sort of wild Mego orgy-party going on right there).  

It's a strange hobby sometimes, no less especially when you receive your green leggings and fawn moccasins in the post, to fit your 8" POTA type 1 classic.  The gender cross-over and the doll vs action figure tension is all part of the progression of these figures over time, and while Medicom might be considered the 2001 POTA Marky Mark remake merchandiser, I'm looking no further than 1974 Mego for my POTA action figure quota - of which Zira is the dominant female specimen. 

Zira | 1974 | Mego | Planet of the Apes 

Birdman of Volcania

Warrior of the sky, protector of the evil Lord Dread, the digitised android mutant leader hunting down human survivors of the Metal Wars, arch nemesis of Captain Power and the Soldiers of Fortune, the action figure line produced by Mattel in 1987-88.  Soaron Sky Sentry is a superbly designed and constructed figure with a Predator-like tail protruding from the back of the metal-cased head, a pair of nesting wings, and an impressive futuristic laser weapon, it's an awesome sight to contemplate a murder of these crow-beasts attacking from the night sky.

Captain Power is an impressive action figure line, one of the all-time best imho, sturdy construction and some class characters and designs that have been criminally overlooked.  Soaron Sky Sentry is the penultimate villain army builder for the kid collector, and while it's origin is a singular character, there's no reason not to fill your boots with a handful of these airborne assassins, a great multi-purpose enemy who can launch air-raids from above and beyond. 

The wing set attached to this beast is a durable medium-density plastic that while not as malleable as the wings on Demon Warrior from Dragonriders of the Styx, are still more robust than anything you'll find attached to the back of G.I. Joe.  The only weakness in this figure appears to be its tail, which is often conspicuously absent from second-hand specimens.  

The articulation of these figures makes them super-poseable (not ultra though), and Soaron Sky Sentry can adapt to suit your scene.  I stumbled upon this line by chance, I never owned any as a child though I'd been passing on them in the second-hand market for a while, wondering if they were as good in-hand as they looked on-screen.  I can say with confidence, these figures are the real deal, with glossy paint work, solid construction and quality accessories.  This mythical bionic-bird beast is an inspired creation and while not always easy to find "complete" in loose format (often sans tail, wings and/or gun though I've found accessories for these figures aren't that difficult nor expensive to locate), is very affordable MOC at little more than original retail value, which imo is a steal for these figures, given their quality.  

Soaron Sky Sentry | 1987 | Mattel | Captain Power & The Soldiers of Fortune

Kane and able to kill

Legendary movie tough guy Henry Silva was the original Kane of the 1970's TV series in the pilot episode, and his action figure incarnation - Killer Kane - projects the flamboyant sinister urge with comic book interpretation.  His successor to the role in the TV series was somewhat less virile, though no less charismatic (Michael Ansara).  Both are/were great actors and deserving of their own immortality in 3 3/4 scale.

The Kane figure is more reminiscent of Henry Silva's portrayal, with a Roman Empire esque hair do and psychotic gaze.  Some figures have that warm, friendly face, not necessarily smiling, just a slight eyebrow inflection or bent mouth to signify they're expressing some human emotion.  Not so with Kane, his expressionless glare reveals only that he's deeply troubled and not to be trusted.  The figure actually looks more sinister than his on-screen persona.

A deep purple two-piece with jewel-encrusted neckline and high-worn black & silver belt suits the figure well, though he looks more like a futuristic foot soldier or flamboyant mercenary than a supreme leader.  Draco after all has a cape and a guard in his namesake, to convey his supremacy.  Like his contemporaries, Kane is susceptible to slack-waist disease and loose limbs, though fortunately at little more than $10 out-of-packet, he's inexpensive to replace (I've also seen him MOC for little more than $30 which is good value for this figure, not quite as ubiquitous as some of the others in the line).

While I owned Kane in childhood, when I re-surfaced my collection recently, all that remained was his lower torso, the rest of his wretched corpse presumably dissolved with the passage of time.  It was a destiny that befell all my Buck Rogers childhood collection, and further evidence of why Mego were the indisputable kings of concept and design, but relative peasants in figure construction - they just don't take the pounding a child metes out to his (or her) figures and dolls.  Perhaps it was Wilma Deering who cleft Kane in twain, or more likely, Ardala with whom he was secretly enamoured and seeking to undermine.  Either way, he's my favourite in this always impressive Mego line, nothing quite surpasses that resting psycho face. 

Killer Kane | 1979 | Mego | Buck Rogers in the 25th Century

Little Big Man

Action figures are like rugby players, they are (and for) all shapes and sizes from the sky-scraping Chewbacca and Little John, to the diminutive Jawas, Pidge from Voltron, and the 3-foot something little person Felix Silla (still kicking at the time of this post), a giant in sci-fi, without whom, Twiki the boyish looking silver robot companion to rugged Gil Gerard's "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century" would not have become such an integral character to the short-lived series.  Sure, Lucas had Kenny Baker inhabiting the Artoo-Deetoo dome, but Felix had so much more to do with his vertically challenged alter ego, incorporating a range of motion and mannerisms that earned Twiki a cult following among kids and collectors alike.  And so it's fitting that the little man commands the biggest ticket of the Mego Buck Rogers line, a loose off the-packet specimen still a sought after commodity almost forty years later, generally bought for between $20-$30, while untouched minties command three digits.  Proof that sometimes good things do come in small packages.

Superior to Battlestar Galactica's Daggit or the Timelord's K-9 robot companions, Twiki is the quintessential friendly robot action figure; he has a warm-looking disposition, and essentially looks like a boy encased in a garbage can.  His rainbow-design chest button, while firmly attached to the photographed specimen, can become loose over time (my original Twiki sadly suffered this cruel fate, like losing his soul) and like all his contemporaries, his rubber-banded waist relaxes with age leaving him with a distinct lean which could be best described as looking like a candidate for a hip replacement.  The best way to preserve a near-forty year Twiki is to be seen but not heard, so to speak, safely locked away in the display cabinet to cheat the forces of time and toll on inferior rubber joinery (curse you Mego!).  It's the great shame of these Mego figures that they're not more robust constructions, as Buck Rogers is one of the top ten (imho) action figures lines of all time.  

The intrepid Twiki and his classic staccato postures, made possible by the articulation in these Mego figures, really bring the characters to a life of their own in a child's hands, ensuring the action continues long after the greedy, short-sighted networks have cancelled all the fun (which in Buck's case, was notoriously fleeting).  Twiki is perhaps among the best known robots of the genre, behind mega duo Artoo-Deetoo/See-Threepio, and Robbie the Robot, and though not everyone would immediately know his name, his form and features are world renowned beyond his ephemeral TV profile.  An enduring legacy for a faithful servant of the industry, in Mr Felix Silla, may he kick-on eternally.  

Twiki | 1979 | Mego | Buck Rogers in the 25th Century

Bing Crosby's next generation

The legendary song & dance man Bing Crosby's male progeny typically followed in the Hollywood patriarch's footsteps (Lindsay, Gary, Dennis, Harry to name a few notables), and so it was not unexpected that a female Crosby would join the procession.  Denise Crosby, through her 2.5 seasons aboard "Star Trek The Next Generation" (TNG) achieved cult status in her character Lt Tasha Yar that guaranteed her a rarefied place in the annals of sci-fi TV history.  The action figure in her namesake, then ensured her immortality long after the DVDs run out of print.

With her trademark shock of blonde, short back 'n sides crop, square-jaw and piercing blue eyes well translated into the 3 3/4 inch plastic icon, Na(Tasha) like all of the Galoob TNG line, is a reasonably faithful representation of her small-screen genesis.  The anatomical proportions are, um, generous (mainly noticeable in profile, somewhat more contoured in the upper torso costume mould), Tasha clutches her phaser fixed-in-hand (which at least ensures you won't lose that attachment), while the shoulder-strapped comm-link accessory hangs casually like a common handbag, the ideal fashion accoutrement for the modern space travelling woman.  These Galoob figures are top-drawer designs and construction (especially the aliens from series 2), and while the heads of the Enterprise crew appear to be a fraction under-scaled, this doesn't detract from the detail nor overall quality of the figures.  

While I was somewhat distracted by GI Joe in the late 80's, and didn't discover this line until much later on, having since sampled some of the competing Playmates lines (e.g. Voyager, Deep Space Nine etc), I'm impressed by the attention to detail and generally more realistic proportions of these Galoob figures.  The paint job is all quality (no over-spray) and yet despite their detail & precision, these TNG figures are still a dime of dozen, almost thirty years later.  In point of fact, I picked up all my present collection, MOC, for under $100 - that's all ten figures (excluding a couple of known prototypes that were not mass produced).  A loose (meaning, out of packet) Tasha Yar tends to sell for only a couple of $$ on the second-hand market, which is under-valuing the craftsmanship imo, so grab yourself a few!

Notwithstanding Crosby's premature departure from the series that elevated Deanna Troi to the best known female character from TNG, Tasha will command her place among the original women of their respective toy lines, the first and imho, best of breed aboard the Galoob Enterprise mark II series.

Lt Natasha Yar | 1988 | Galoob | Star Trek TNG

Here's Luci

Growing up, my TV-viewing life revolved around George Reeves as Superman, Adam "Batman" West, Ron Ely's Tarzan, The CHiPs boys and Battlestar Galactica.  Unlike the Star Wars phenomena that was over in two-hours until a TV re-run (these were the days before Betamax, VHS, DVD, blu-ray and bit torrent piracy), BG was there, every weekend to satiate the demand for sci-fi storylines.  And what made BG so successful on the screen as it did in the figure line, was its colourful and eclectic array of characters, such as Lucifer. 

Lucifer the aciton figure looks more like a conehead dipped in toilet water or some deranged anti-Christmas decoration than the brightly-lit right-hand bot to Count Baltar from the series; the paint design lacking the sparkle and lustre of its small screen inspiration.  There's also the lack of articulation beyond moveable arms (which was also the case with the Cylons and Boray from the BG 4" line).  About all Lucifer can do is stand there and look ornamental, which isn't much more perhaps than he does on the screen.  Despite the limitations, Lucifer remains a highly sought-after collectible figure whose loose value is somewhere in the vicinity of $35-$40 being somewhat scarce.  MOC will fetch six-fold that figure, demonstrating the premium placed on this otherwise rather static figure.

But I'm sounding like a Lucifer-hater, which isn't the case.  It's just that I never owned this figure as a kid, always wanted one, and when I finally did snag my very own, he didn't quite live up to my long-awaited expectations.  He can't really interact with Baltar or throw haymakers at Apollo (oh yeah, that's right, they didn't make an Apollo action figure, wtf Mattel?), so what does he do exactly?  Elementary - you simply impersonate Jonathan Harris' voice in robot speak while he casually laser-beams Lt Starbuck into submission.  Either that or you can always pretend he has a vice-like mind grip on Adama that causes him to turn on Starbuck.  There's infinite possibilities.  An action figure doesn't need all the bells and whistles to fulfil the action quotient, it's the imagination that brings it to life.

So I've reconciled my initial disappointment with Lucifer, and he now occupies pride of place in my display cabinet, though for practical reasons, some distance away from my Accoutrements Jesus (2001) action figure.

Lucifer | 1979 | Mattel | Battlestar Galactica 

May the Force Commander be with you...

These 6" Japanese Takara inspired transforming robots were the forerunner to the Transformers a decade later, using magnetised joints to enable custom-built robots and manimals, with rocket firing capability and interchangeable animal-machine hybrids.  Force Commander was the hero of the 2nd wave, his nemesis the jet black Baron Karza, the two mega-bots go head to head with fist-firing, rocket propulsion, their limbs scattering and then magically reassembling for another bout of epic proportions.

The construction of these interchangeable figures is ingenious for their vintage.  Magnetised ball joints click snugly into position, while red rocket heads can be manually fired from the spring-loaded device embedded deep within the figure’s torso, enabling chest fired projectiles and a fist-shooting function that can blast off suddenly if you happen to inadvertently trigger the firing mechanism on the forearm.  Force Commander has a simple though effective design and while it’s largely identical to the others of its ilk (Baron Karza, The Emperor etc), there’s still something impressive about a line of these colourful Micronaut robots on display in various configurations and battle poses.  Of course the mix 'n match capability inherent in these designs, (absent from most other action figures) adds another dimension of imaginative play for kids.  

Due to its magnetised joinery, Force Commander is highly articulate and extremely malleable for kid’s play or action posture.  Obviously the multitude of accessories associated with these figures, make their age appropriateness for children arguable, and consequently, the Micronauts parts trade is a booming sub-industry on the secondary market (tip: keep your parts in those hardware trays to avoid expensive replacement costs).  While I was originally more fascinated in the later-produced 3 3/4" aliens (e.g. Lobros, Antron and friends), I recently became intrigued by the pioneering ingenuity displayed in these heavy duty war machines.  They're robust (they each weigh 200g) and yet you can literally blow them apart, re-attach and begin again, as Finnegan might say.  Sensational, timeless figures with a sci-fi/Shogun-esque look, the Baron may be the crowd favourite, but Force Commander will always be the interplanetary white knight and poster-boy of the Micronauts.

Force Commander | 1977 | Mego | Micronauts

Gamorrean Guard's brother from another mother

If Kevin Costner must be in your collection somewhere, while I'd have preferred a set of "The Untouchables" action figures, I am willing to compromise and amass the modest but stylish "Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves" line by Kenner instead.  The jolly, corpulent man of the cloth, Friar Tuck is his stereotypical jolly self with robe, rope belt and staff as his accoutrements.

There's nothing imho especially charismatic about the jolly Friar, he's not as whimsical looking as Milo O'Shea or with a face like a slapped turkey a la Ronnie Barker, but he's that essential character you virtually have to conceive if you're going to develop a Robin Hood action figure line.  Odd  perhaps that such a dowdy little man in a drab brown robe and sandles would make the mould and yet Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio's more tantalising likeness couldn't get a look-in, but I'll save those criticisms for the full line review.

What is perhaps remarkable about this portly fellow is his mould.  Recycling is nothing new in action figures,   though this particular lineage always seems to amuse me for its total re-use of old moulds, rather than more subtle sampling.  In this context, the good Friar is apparently a distant relative of the Gamorrean Guard of Jabba's Palace, ROTJ.  So much so, that Kenner spared much expense re-tooling the press, torso paint & detail, merely popped a new head on his shoulders, called him Friar Tuck and we've got ourselves a stew.  It's devilishly simple, maybe even a tad cheeky.  I've even seen Friar being offered for sale as a "rare Gamorrean Guard variant" at an inflated price for some unlucky punter to discover that he's possibly worth less now than he was brand new, almost 25 years ago.

Inexpensive is a word that springs immediately to mind when I consider the RHPOT line, not in their construction mind you, just their residual value has plummeted (though this may rebound to some degree with the current resurgence of Robin Hood in the cinema).  Nevermore than pennies loose, maybe $5 MOC, this tubby little theologian from Sherwood Forest is (presently) a highly affordable collectible and though he may be a borrowed body of a more inspired pig-man creation, he possesses quality accessories, a genial disposition, and overall, fits into a modest though well constructed eight-figure line very nicely. 

Friar Tuck | 1991 | Kenner | Robin Hood Prince of Thieves 

Walter Becker moonlights for Eagle Force

Electronics whiz, Zapper is the ubiquitous tech-savvy component of any para-military outfit.  Think Emilio Estevez in MI1, or the character “Theo” from Die Hard who has to engineer the opening of the vaults and override all security systems, but also carry a loaded weapon.  These individuals are virtually indispensable, they are the grunts with the gear, able to disable and capable of harm.  Zapper exudes ham-radio enthusiast, but the serious boom stick he’s packing belies an otherwise meek geek image.

  

Like former British PM John Major, it’s difficult to determine whether he wears a moustache or just a shadow of one he used to sport.  Sleeveless with what looks like an enviable crop of sandy brown hair, he’s the epitome of contrasts looking more like Walter Becker from Steely Dan than an engineer in uniform.

There’s sometimes speculation about Zapper variants; with/out painted moustache, brown/blonde hair, and it’s difficult to know whether these are in fact subtle variations, or paint deterioration over time.  Personally I’ve never seen an alternate head sculpt (vis-à-vis The Cat for instance) or a total colour exchange (e.g. gold Nemesis).  That said, as the eminent Dr Zaius reminded us, there are bound to be mutants, and where’s there’s one, there’s another, and another, and another.  Quality control, or lack thereof invariably leads to rogue variants, though it’s difficult to discern a genuine brown-haired, invisible moustache Zapper from a regular beaten favourite.

So that’s all I have to say about “Zapper”, a whiz sapper, a scrawny geek from the 1970’s whose Kombi van was probably filled with closed-circuit TVs and citizen’s band, who became the envy of his nerd mates when he was drafted to join the elite special forces outfit, Eagle Force.

Zapper | 1981 | Mego | Eagle Force

More than a woman

Meet Kate McRae, the 3 ¾ miniaturisation of Yvette Mimieux from the 1979 Disney film, The Black Hole.  Kate is the token female of the crew, but still, apparently the least desirable to own, with dozens of Kate McRae’s available on the secondary market as individuals, and not infrequently among mixed lots on that auction web-site in particular.  A MOC K8 McRae is still only $25 (though a GIG card is more), and loose collectible quality can be obtained for little more than treble the original retail price.  Like the majority of her ilk, K8 carries no accessory, (no make-up bag or hair-dryer, for instance), so she’s going to struggle to compete with her contemporaries, especially when they include notables like Princess Leia with removable capes and blasters, or Marion Ravenwood with doily dress and chimp companion. 

Mego’s foray into the sci-fi genre in response to Kenner’s spectacular success with Star Wars (and Mego’s epic fail in that regard) was essentially doomed due to diversification and design.  Too many lines competing against one another divided its market (consider Star Trek TMP, CHiPs, The Black Hole and Buck Rogers all appearing at the same time), then the delicate, highly articulated construction and rubber-band joinery ill-suited to child’s play, further eroded the brand.  But I’m not here to bash Mego; for all their mis-steps, I still regard them as being the pioneers of this industry and to this day, remain my absolute favourite action figure brand.  Even if I curse them every time one of their slack-waisted figures checks-in for hip replacement surgery (I guess that’s just the ageing process that many of us will experience anyway, so maybe they were into experiential figures, more realistic than we could ever have imagined).

K8 is your typical female action figure, painted pink and with bumps & curves in all the right places.  She’s not a bad likeness to Yvette, though the same couldn’t be said for some of her peers (think Ernest Borgnine’s Harry Booth for instance).  Susceptible to broken thumbs, slack waist and general wear and tear, K8 is delicate like her dynamic among a shuttle full of men, but still, able to stand her ground in the face of gender discrimination.  Given there are so relatively few female characters in the vintage action figure lines, K8 will maintain a privileged place in the annals of action figure history along with the Princess Leia’s, Wilma Deerings, Marion Ravenwood’s et al of this hobby.  She may not immediately spring to mind when considering that relatively small fraternity, but she deserves our attention for her power-suited (albeit still pinkish) only ever-so-subtle androgyny.  She’s an explorer first, woman second.

Kate McRae | 1979 | Mego | The Black Hole

Mr Devil Bat

While I've been a fan of the arena/prog rock band Styx for some time, I'd never heard of Dragonriders of the Styx when I first stumbled across one in a mixed bag; the figure looked almost Gothic in appearance, like a gargoyle and was well constructed with seven points of articulation and a vibrant paint job.  My research led me into the realm of the Styx, and the discovery of a baker's dozen action figure line (inclusive of the true colour variants).  Demon Warrior was the specimen in question, and though I had to locate his accessories subsequently (a pair of soft plastic wings and a brace of weapons), I soon discovered that the Dragonriders (let's abbrev. to DOTS) were reasonably plentiful and available at a reasonable price (e.g. loose examples with some minor paint loss, $5-15).

Demon Warrior is one of the more common in the line, his bat-like features leaving no doubt as to his intentions, a mace and wave blade keris reinforcing his desire for pain and blood loss.  He's a truly grotesque looking creature, which is exactly the kind of concept that makes a great action figure.  The wing-span is mighty and pleasingly, the construction of the wing pad is sensible with a soft, malleable plastic insert that will endure before it fails.  The weapons also are resilient, again, softer, pliable plastic allows them to bend and contort, so you can knife Ragnar or The Wizard as many times as you want, and repeat the frenzy the very next day with psychotic abandon.  Your blade will be sharp as a tack.

Despite their relative availability on the secondary market (and which includes plenty of new, old stock MOC), I never see much written about the DOTS or used in medieval settings, castle dioramas etc.  If you're into that sort of thing, this line is perfect for a middle-ages war scene, and there's plenty of characters to occupy the supporting roles.  Weapons are harder to source, but then, you could improvise to cover that gap.  Perhaps I've just got "too much time on my hands" (that's a Styx reference, maybe a little esoteric).  

I wasn't expecting DOTS to join my collection so late in life, especially given I'd neither heard of nor owned any as a child, but I'm glad I found that first Demon Warrior among those other random figures, as they're now one of my firm favourite action figure lines.

Demon Warrior | 1984 | DFC | Dragonriders of the Styx

The Colour Purple

This regal looking figure has one of the best colour schemes of the Star Wars line, a deep purple (not the band) appearance and grey, sickly-looking skin, the look of a dead-man wrapped in the finest Egyptian-cotton threads.  Imperial Dignitary is one of the last of the POTF line, and consequently, worth a pretty penny.  In this case, while I don't condone the practice of scalping, he's potentially worth a bit more moolah, just owing to his design quality and detail.  That's not to say I'm parting with a pineapple to have him in my collection, but given he has no accessories, I think $45 is a reasonable threshold.  For that price mind you, he absolutely must not have the ubiquitous nose paint-chip synonymous with himself, The Emperor and AT-AT Commander.

ID is again one of those peripheral characters without a backstory or even a purpose, just a random bit player with a stylish wardrobe who got lucky in the Kenner design studios.  His purpose is ultimately aimless, and yet, he's a veritable peacock with flowing purple and orange robes, sparkling blue eyes, and that threatre-director esque pout (you know the one I mean, like a cat's valve).  The orange cravat really completes the look, though it's a shame he didn't have a pair of Bolle sunglasses as an accessory, or even a Gucci man-bag in which to carry them.  There's an idea for the Vintage Collection, if he gets a re-boot.

A fusion of Bib Fortuna facial colouring and a leaner Anakin robe-cut, ID is a robust figure, but then his character doesn't need to do too much more than stand still and look important, so you wouldn't expect a loose limb Larry anytime soon.  

Serving suggestion: always good to have a couple standing nearby one of those ISP-6 mini-rigs from which Darth Vader alights, a few Royal Guards, an Emperor and some Stormtroopers and pretty soon you've got a $500 display.  You never know when an ID is going to turn up, so it's vitally important that Vader is always wearing his cape and that your Royal Guards have both robes and force pike.  It's akin to when one of the senior bosses visits unexpectedly from inter-state, you keep a couple of neck ties in your bottom drawer for just that occasion.  So too we must be prepared for Imperial Dignitary visits, whenever he may appear.

Imperial Dignitary | 1985 | Kenner | Star Wars POTF

The short, fat, Zod you can keep in your pocket

Following the success of the 1978 film renewal of "Superman", Mego re-released its pocket super hero range in straight-leg format, including the black clad nemesis, General Zod.  Terence Stamp had built an impressive career playing various oddballs ("The Collector") and heroes ("Blue", "Charge of the Light Brigade"), and so his sci-fi turn into Superman's other arch enemy (somewhat lesser known to Lex Luthor) was an inspired piece of casting for an actor not normally associated with the genre.

The construction of these pocket super heroes varies, with the traditional superheroes given a fit, lean look (e.g. Superman, Spidey) where others like General Zod look a little out of shape.  The Mego Zod interpretation always looks to me to have a permanently bewildered look in the face, and a posture that suggests he's less than comfortable in the sci-fi attire; essentially just some overweight, balding, bearded, middle-aged extra whose been called in because he bares a likeness to Terence Stamp.  Unfortunately Terence wasn't available for the sculpting, he was off filming "Superman II" (1980) back-to-back.  But despite his rather dumbfounded appearance, he's a solid construction of albeit limited articulation, and an ideal figure for the demands of robust child's play.

It's always amusing to see Zod stand next to Superman, where the disproportions are really emphasised, much like the real-life 6'4" Christopher Reeve, buffed by PT Dave Prowse, towering over the relatively slight frame of Terence Stamp at 5'10" or thereabouts.  Zod looks even more diminutive and athletically inferior when the two meet mano a mano in the playground (or even just on the printer in the study, deep-seeded rivalries can escalate at anytime, anywhere, especially when you're standing beside one another day-in, day-out in the display cabinet).  It's really not until you retrieve the figures from your toy box thirty years later that you start to wonder what goes with what, and couldn't imagine the two emanating from the same manufacturer, let alone the same line, such are their apparent differences.

But back to the fat Zod, he wears a full man-beard and that in itself is rare among action figures (Hans Reinhardt, General Madine, Frostbite, Outback, Obi-Wan, Little John, a few others), he has glossy, hard-wearing paint, joints that stay taut and to my knowledge, is the only figurisation (I made that word up) of legendary actor Terence Stamp that presently exists.  Ostensibly, you're not a real man unless he's in your collection, but equally, at just $10-20 loose, collector grade, there's also no reason why he shouldn't be flanking your Mego pocket Superman, just to remind him that Lex Luthor isn't the only threat in the display cabinet.

General Zod | 1979 | Mego | Pocket Super Heroes

The Looking Glass Man

Remco are often associated with quasi-bootleg MOTU figures, ancient and inter-galactic warriors with hideously over-developed musculature that parade around like Peplum heroes with elk, wolf and snake heads signifying some ancient pseudo-Greek mythology.  And that's somewhat accurate if you consider the Warrior Beasts, but often Remco are mis-attributed to inferior brands like Sewco or Sungold.  To me, Remco represents Monsters, AWA Wrestling, and, The Saga of Crystar, whose eponymous hero is pictured below, in full, original kit.

Crystar emanates from the Marvel comic, telling the tale of a mythical Crystal Order and their epic battle against the Magma men and Zardeth, the evil wizard leader of Chaos.  Crystar, Leader of the Crystal Warriors, looks like he'll shatter at any moment, but in reality, he's a very robust seven point articulation with quite intricate features chiseled into his glass-like design.  Certainly his accessories are delicate, and as a consequence, quite rare in loose format.  The head-dress is almost impossible to find off the card, such is its size and fragility, while the shield and sword are also relatively brittle.  It's these fragile features in battle that turn Crystal Warriors into Crystal Worriers, concerned for their welfare as kids everywhere punish them with relentless disregard.  Not the most practical design for what is essentially a child's toy, and probably easy to see why this line never really propagated in the early 80's, aside from its better promoted/constructed competition at the time (which Remco was also contesting, as aforementioned).

Versatile and unique in appearance, Crystar conjures the sense of ancient nobility transformed into the rock and crystal natural forms, an earthly contest between water gods and rock lords (oops, that's another line), competing for custodianship of the ancient lands of Crystallium.  Of course, the reality is not so noble, simply an arbitrary turf war incorporating lust, greed, sacrifice and ultimately, transmutation of prisms and lava to preserve the feuding leaders so they can embark on a long drawn-out civil war.  In other words, a saga.  

Remco can at least be congratulated for continuing to diversify their action figure lines, and offering these somewhat ephemeral and obscure concepts a chance at immortality.  For his part as the fearless defender of the free-world, Crystar, Leader of the Crystal Warriors is an impressive looking hero, stoic and brave and though not as sought-after as some comic-strip characters, a rare find nowadays in full garb.

Crystar | 1982 | Remco | The Saga of Crystar

The Green Maverick

Matchbox Robotech produced a plethora of Japanese Manga inspired characters, which famously dispensed with the male-dominated concepts and themes, instead, creating an equally balanced gender mix that featured the green-haired villain-turned-heroine, Lt Miriya (micronised), hot-shot Veritech Fighter Pilot.  Miriya was formerly plying her trade for the evil Zentraedi enemy, 'micronising' to infiltrate the Robotech Defence Force.  But, as the back story goes (you can read about it on the backing card), Miriya fell for the blue-haired geek Max Sterling, and switched her allegiances, thus becoming the ire of Zentraedi Master and his warriors, notably Dolza and Khyron.  I hope you caught all of that, there's a quiz later on.  

Miriya is a brightly painted she-wolf of the skyways, with a neck-length bob of neon green locks, and the steely blue-eyed gaze of a determined young woman whose ambition knows no gender boundaries.  While it's not atypical to action figures, her back story certainly challenges the common stigma associated with women in a male dominated industry (like inter-planetary defence for instance).  You can imagine she's fit, feisty and brimming with confidence, just the type of character to lure the girls from their reliable old Barbies and My Little Ponies, over to the dark side of action figures, formerly an exclusively male domain.  Her colour scheme also lends itself to a candy cane likeness, so she'll hang nicely on the Christmas tree too (a highly versatile figure).

Matchbox (and latterly Harmony Gold who briefly revived the series in the early 90's) deserve applause for bringing these characters to life and challenging the status quo.  The articulation on these Matchbox designs is GI-Joe (1983 onward) standard, and while the facial features are necessarily distorted given their Anime source material (i.e. graphic novels and animation as opposed to live actors), the only disappointing aspect to this line is the quality control of some accessories.  Miriya might have a helmet, but don't try and put it on her head - you may never get it off, or you'll scrape that trademark green mane doing so and potentially ruin a mint figure.  A blur of over-spray is also evident particularly on the helmet, but aside from some relatively minor construction flaws (that may vary from figure to figure), she's otherwise a standout in the line.

And while her character's story is a good yarn, it remains something of a mystery to me how she became so enamoured by the blue-rinse nerd, looking like Todd Rundgren with 1970's-era Elton John face furniture, but I guess her character (and Robotech generally) is against-type, and so the partnership fits the underlying narrative appropriately.  There's no accounting for taste, except when it comes to the classy crimson candy cane, Miriya (micronised).

Miriya (micronised) | 1985 | Matchbox | Robotech 

Imperial Leather

One of the simplest and yet most effective in the long, long Star Wars line, the innocuously named Imperial Gunner is a favourite for his sleek lines and black-suited frame with just a hint of colour peeking through the visor and basic shoulder emblems to signify his sinister allegiance.  

IG has a provocative name which helps his reputation, and while his place in the film Return of the Jedi (1983, ROTJ) is merely incidental, he's achieved cult status mainly by being associated with the "Last 17" club (meaning he was late to arrive and consequently, now more scarce on the secondary market).  How could the extras employed to be "Imperial Gunners" have ever known they would become so sought-after, in 3 3/4 inch scale?  Did they ever work again I wonder; did they need to?  A MOC IG belies his relative youthfulness and would be beyond most folks' means to purchase in the modern era (certainly more than I have to spare).

But, in the absence of his royal mintness, I did manage to pick up a bargain on the photographed chap who is near-mint, original and complete.  I must confess at this point to an atrocity.  I did own IG in my first childhood.  Foolishly, while I retained a preferred characters stash, I sold the rest to a slick Comic Shop dude, and IG went to a new home.  Of course, it wasn't until sometime later that I realised the significant error in judgement.  There's actually another two, even more shocking confessions as part of that same transaction, but I'll save them for their figure.  Plus I need time to prepare myself emotionally.

Insofar as army builders go, IG would be one of the most expensive to assemble, which is why personally I've stacked the war deck with mirrors and thrown-in a few Imperial Commanders, to create the illusion of a full IG staffing cohort.  If you prefer not to cheat, then drink plenty of water and keep those kidneys healthy for an imminent sale.

He's not especially rare on the secondary market, though having said that, nor is he in abundance; what's invariably more difficult to source is his elusive and microscopic pistol which now costs as much as the figure itself (!) ... for an eight-millimetre plastic tag that you could lose in the threads of your own pocket...??  Sometimes I wonder, I really do.    

Imperial Gunner | 1984 | Kenner | Star Wars POTF

The steak to go with your CHiPs

With his chrome dome, dark aviators, turtle-neck wife-beater and leather waist-coat, this progressive 70's type named Jimmy Squeaks screams "goon".  Chief irritator to the CHiPs, this Mego concept figure represents the global villainy of that TV series, and consequently, lacks a dimension of intrigue inherent in the sci-fi genre.  He's probably a tough, street-wise son of Greek-Macedonian immigrants brought up on rackets and petty-crime - no doubting those credentials.  But he's no Darth Vader.  Grand larceny, auto-theft, but unlikely to be suspected of intergalactic terrorism.

What's interesting about this figure however is his construction.  Like his peer (Wheels Willy), Jimmy is a soft plastic, six-point articulation.  Strangely, the CHiPs themselves are 10-point articulation rubber-banded torsos; it's like they were invented for another line altogether.  Nevertheless, Jimmy has the rub on Willy, sporting a tidy black leather vest that fits snugly on his lean, muscular frame.  And both get to show off the impressive guns with the sleeveless apparel (no tattoos?).  

There's also a bent-leg variant of Jimmy, akin to the Pocket Super Hero line from 1975, in his original incarnation as "Professor Braine" from the C.B. McHaul line.  It seems Mego recycled the heads, arms and much of the design schemes to develop their Jimmy & Willy characters, as means to give Ponch, Sarge and Jon someone to harass in the kid's playground.  Fair enough.  I understand why Jimmy had to be invented, but where was Harlan Arliss, Artie Grossman or Bear?  Too much, too little, too late to ever start again.

Jimmy is a standover man at best, but he's solid construction and if you're not too discerning and just need a yin for your yan, then he's functional and will take a beating, or give one (hence the clenched fist, poised to throw a haymaker), depending on your mood.  Personally I'd have him laying out Ponch at every given opportunity, just to wipe that stupid Mego-grin off his face.

Jimmy Squeaks | 1979 | Mego | CHiPs

Mind your tung, lashor

Purple, hybrid lizard-snake monsters are nothing unique in action figure lines, nor are they especially unusual in Masters of the Universe (MOTU) land either, but there’s a pleasing symmetry with 1985’s Tung Lashor, from its phonetic (or illiterate) name, to the balanced colour scheme and simple but effective ‘motif’.  For those that don’t know, Tung Lashor's special subject is a less than innocuous-looking wheel embedded in his back that when rolled, extends a slippery ribbon-like, forked tongue down his ripped, raging torso.  It’s enough to charm the snake lovers, and seriously disturb the rest.

I’ve been selective with my MOTU acquisitions (I'll elaborate on that another time), and even traded a few of my childhood collection to amass a more compact collection that represents my favourites, to which Tung Lashor holds membership.  What impressed me most about this psychedelic reptilian was undoubtedly the colour scheme; it’s vibrant and demands attention, not necessarily garish or lairy, but really gives the imagined look of alienised snake skin, akin to a "Toxic Avenger" rendition.  The figure’s proportions and "trick" (wheel and tongue) are also robust and his solid construction is superior to most of his contemporaries.  Tung Lashor stands firm and unassisted, meanwhile, the Kobra Khan's and King Hiss' of this world are all pigeon-toed and looking constipated. 

While the accoutrements are pretty typical for the line (all the snake-men with the exception of Kobra Khan seem to prefer a snake staff in preference to a more practical sword or pistol, perhaps this is to signify fraternity or acknowledge kinship with one another), with his over-reaching tongue extension, he doesn’t seem to actually need any further enhancement to compete.  I always figured he could just lash his victims into submission, poison them with venom, or alternatively, strangle them with his freakishly long mouth monster.  And unlike his peers, he's got a neck like a bull that would make most front-row forwards blush.  This is clearly an alpha-male snake-lizard-alien-thing..  In other words, don't be fooled by all that pink, there's nothing remotely androgynous about Tung Lashor (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Serious pondering aside, Tung Lashor is also the quintessential party-trick action figure, the kind of toy everyone should have on display as a talking-point, or just to convey to unweary guests that you might in fact be a little unusual.  If you only wanted to sample the range of snake-men from the MOTU line, then after the original Kobra Khan, Tung Lashor is imho the next best concept and construction designed to stand-out in your action figure crowd.

Tung Lashor | 1985 | Mattel | Masters of the Universe

Less, is more

This is the quintessential Viper, that ubiquitous GI Joe villain who’s undergone dozens of incarnations in the vintage "A Real American Hero" line (1982-1994), and beyond (think Astro, Night, Frag, Laser, Motor, Hydro, Rock, Scissors, Paper etc).  

Simplicity is the key with Cobra Infantry Viper, where his successors assembled hundreds of microscopic attachments per unit - hoses, grenades, hand-held radios, infrared lenses, all the tiniest paraphernalia a kid could lose or swallow - Cobra Infantry is classic, basic Joe.  Black back-pack and a light grey somewhat non-descript boom stick.  Complete.  No detachable helmet – the plain, silver visor is sufficiently threatening – no elaborate pieces to lose or break, just a compact, economic figure with sinister intentions.  The sleeves are rolled up and ready to rumble.  It’s a no-nonsense kit and deservedly, one of the most prolific army builders of the range.  Even more pleasing for the secondary-market dependent collector, he's modestly priced accordingly (as-at date of this post, <$20 complete, loose, collector grade, imo).

And despite his abundance, he was the most conspicuously absent character from my childhood collection.  Apparently so blinded by the light of "Mission Brazil" special forces, and quasi Ninja-Commandos flinging exploding nunchucks, I neglected the classic Viper until my second foray into childhood.  Better late than never...

The kind of infantryman every sinister army chasing world domination wants to employ, Viper Cobra Infantry fuses human characteristics with cyborg-like ruthlessness; cold, clinical purveyor of pain and suffering, a Joe staple whose likeness will transcend time and re-imaginings.  A Real American villain for A Real American Hero to punish.

Viper - Cobra Infantry | 1986 | Hasbro | GI Joe A Real American Hero

He's bringing sexy back, yeah

Now I'm strictly action figure lite, but even I know that Star Trek The Motion Picture (TMP) aliens are as rare as hen’s teeth, and Arcturian is probably number three (of six aliens) on that list, behind Megarite and the holy grail of TMP aliens, Betelgeusian.  

And he’s a great figure too, which makes locating and parting with the hard-earned, all the more worthwhile (I’ve always cringed at the thought of feeling compelled to spend big $$ on that elusive figure, merely to complete a collection, it just seems so bittersweet).  Arcturian is a bright and colourful creature with a head only a mother-alien could love, something akin to the well-aged look of Dustin Hoffman's 100 year-old character in "Little Big Man".  He also reminds me of the mutants sans their 'disguises' from "Beneath the Planet of the Apes" (both 1970).  But I digress.

The construction of these Mego TMP figures is simple but effective – why they didn’t employ a similar methodology with some of their other lines (Buck Rogers and his rubber-band, CHiPs etc) is lamentable.  Perhaps the only confusing aspect of a simpleton like Arcturian is that I don’t actually recall him featuring in Star Trek TMP (1979).  That said, there is a live-action still of him/it on the TMP action figure backing cards.  Perhaps he was one of those rare characters that made it into plastic production, despite his scenes ending up on the cutting room floor.  With all the incidental characters from Star Wars (1977) that were immortalised by action figure status, I guess it's not that remarkable. 

Overall, while he’s got a head like a robber’s dog or something that’s been microwaved, Arcturian is a sturdy collectible figure that’s easily the most robust of the TMP aliens, sturdy, sure-footed on display and likely to cop a kid-bashing without exhibiting too much wear, save for some fading of the yellow suit if exposed to the elements.  Mind you, at $50-$75 a throw loose on the secondary market (and maybe double that price, carded), he’s probably worth keeping indoors, and due to his ghastly appearance, away from windows.

Arcturian | 1980 | Mego | Star Trek The Motion Picture

Shock the Trooper

Shock Trooper is a fantastic design and paint scheme.  The cap, the shades, the long boots and silver uniform with crimson strip is an inspired concept character.  Like some futuristic, hybridised military policeman, he packs an AK-47 and looks uber-menacing, just the man to flank the sinister General Mamba and his R.I.O.T. death squads.

Coldly displaying that psychotic, "I’m-programmed-to-kill" look, you wonder whether there’s a heart beating beneath the shiny suit of silver so fashionably provisioned by the R.I.O.T. uniforms department.  The grey skin conjures an image of some re-animated ghoul, and un-dead corpse of a mass-murderer, revived just to mindlessly pump lead into the Eagle Force and its allies.  I wouldn't be at all surprised if he knelt down over a victim and proceeded to gorge on the flesh like something out of a Lucio Fulci movie.

He’s also significant as the only army builder of the Mego Eagle Force line; that generic character you can collect by the fistfuls for dioramas and battle scenes, or, just to ensure you’ve got a few spares when the dog buries him or chews off his head.  Of course, being Eagle Force, Shock Trooper is a die-cast metal maniac up to his collar, so he's virtually indestructible.  The moulded rubber head his only weakness and like all Eagle Force figures, susceptible to the paint wear which mostly affects the boots of this particular character.  The specimen pictured has fared quite well in comparison to many of his peers, displaying the scars of his valor, without having been totally abused.

Insofar as variants, I’ve seen pale and pink hands, but nothing more dramatic; he’s typical of an army-builder character in that regard; put him in a lineup  irrespective of his COO variety, and he won't ruin the photo shoot with some random "odd man out" appearance. 

My only gripe with the Eagle Force line is that they never evolved into a conventional 3 ¾ line, because it’s easy to see just how impressive an outfit of Shock Troopers would look, articulated on larger scale.  Vale Mego, vale Eagle Force, long live zombie Shock Troopers. 

Shock Trooper | 1981 | Mego | Eagle Force